Tuesday, September 21, 2004
two weeks and a prayer of sorts
The term starting is always a crazy time for me and I tend to get wrapped up in myself. I haven't been to my mother's house since we went to Virginia together and I really hadn't talked to her in like two weeks. I finally called her yesterday and will be going home saturday for a party with the high school friends and will then spend sunday with the siblings.
However, something much more important has occurred to me. The last time I heard from Kevin was before the semester started. He normally calls me every other week from Bahrain (where he is on duty with the Navy, translating or something or other we don't really talk about what he does when he calls). I haven't even gotten an email.
And this could all be my fault. I haven't sent any emails, so why should I expect them. Except that he is in the Middle East in uniform and I am not and I just feel like I could cry cause I don't know if I haven't gotten an email cause I haven't sent them or for some other reason which I will not let my brain linger on. And this is all my fault cause if I had just kept up the emailing me I would know if my worrying was worth it or not.
I miss Kevin. He really should be with us all at the party this Saturday and he won't be and I really really want my friend back. I keep making him promise that we will do certain things again and promising him that I will do certain things again cause if we make promises we have to follow through...we have always been like that. And I know there are things bigger than us and I hate that.
Today I want to be sixteen again sitting on the rock that over looks the creek eatting egg drop soup talking about role playing games and literary aspirations. And I know I can't be sixteen again but please God let me sit on the rock with Kevin and do that just a few more times.
The term starting is always a crazy time for me and I tend to get wrapped up in myself. I haven't been to my mother's house since we went to Virginia together and I really hadn't talked to her in like two weeks. I finally called her yesterday and will be going home saturday for a party with the high school friends and will then spend sunday with the siblings.
However, something much more important has occurred to me. The last time I heard from Kevin was before the semester started. He normally calls me every other week from Bahrain (where he is on duty with the Navy, translating or something or other we don't really talk about what he does when he calls). I haven't even gotten an email.
And this could all be my fault. I haven't sent any emails, so why should I expect them. Except that he is in the Middle East in uniform and I am not and I just feel like I could cry cause I don't know if I haven't gotten an email cause I haven't sent them or for some other reason which I will not let my brain linger on. And this is all my fault cause if I had just kept up the emailing me I would know if my worrying was worth it or not.
I miss Kevin. He really should be with us all at the party this Saturday and he won't be and I really really want my friend back. I keep making him promise that we will do certain things again and promising him that I will do certain things again cause if we make promises we have to follow through...we have always been like that. And I know there are things bigger than us and I hate that.
Today I want to be sixteen again sitting on the rock that over looks the creek eatting egg drop soup talking about role playing games and literary aspirations. And I know I can't be sixteen again but please God let me sit on the rock with Kevin and do that just a few more times.
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