Monday, September 26, 2005
Is it more violative to have to stick yourself in something or to have something stuck in you?
Yes that is a gross headline in context of what I am going to talk about but I wanted it to be gross because the topic is gross.
You see I am currently getting paid to co-author on article on Sexual Harassment in Schools (particularly issues with damages across circuits). Either way the fact patterns to the cases involve students harassing students, teachers harassing students (and I am talking about kids between grades 5-12 and in some cases younger) and sexual relationships between the above mentioned groups.
Here is the thing, when you read this stuff it just seems so much eekier when the high school teacher is sleeping with HIS ninth grade student, then when the high school teacher is sleeping with HER ninth grade student. Why is that? I mean on a really big level why is that? For the male students there are studies that show that the rigors of going through a trial are more psychologically damaging than the actual abuse itself. Plus with the recent string of hottie teachers sleeping with their students (and I mean female teachers) the general public comments are the equivelant of a verbal high five for whatever adolescent boy had the experience.
SO can anybody give a GOOD explanation for why the difference? I have some ideas but I wanna know what you think
Yes that is a gross headline in context of what I am going to talk about but I wanted it to be gross because the topic is gross.
You see I am currently getting paid to co-author on article on Sexual Harassment in Schools (particularly issues with damages across circuits). Either way the fact patterns to the cases involve students harassing students, teachers harassing students (and I am talking about kids between grades 5-12 and in some cases younger) and sexual relationships between the above mentioned groups.
Here is the thing, when you read this stuff it just seems so much eekier when the high school teacher is sleeping with HIS ninth grade student, then when the high school teacher is sleeping with HER ninth grade student. Why is that? I mean on a really big level why is that? For the male students there are studies that show that the rigors of going through a trial are more psychologically damaging than the actual abuse itself. Plus with the recent string of hottie teachers sleeping with their students (and I mean female teachers) the general public comments are the equivelant of a verbal high five for whatever adolescent boy had the experience.
SO can anybody give a GOOD explanation for why the difference? I have some ideas but I wanna know what you think
Comments:
1. Girls are more easily influenced, therefore there's more of a 'taking advantage' thing in the male teacher scenario.
2. Girls get more emotionally attached.
3. Men are stronger physically and there's an element of overpowering and control there.
4. Girls arent all about the conquest, they usually want love, whereas teen boys - if all they do is get laid - are all for it.
2. Girls get more emotionally attached.
3. Men are stronger physically and there's an element of overpowering and control there.
4. Girls arent all about the conquest, they usually want love, whereas teen boys - if all they do is get laid - are all for it.
# posted by 
: 4:15 PM
: 4:15 PM
while i agree with 2-4
i have to really disagree with # 1
guys are just as easily influenced (especially when it comes to doing stupid risk taking crap).
p.s. please post names in the future
i have to really disagree with # 1
guys are just as easily influenced (especially when it comes to doing stupid risk taking crap).
p.s. please post names in the future
From my experience, (not being a party in this, just working at the PD office), the feeling seems to be that girls/women are not supposed to "know"/"experience" certain things. It's assumed that the man was in some way responsible for coercing the female. When it's a woman, it's been my experience that many people look for a reason (emotional or otherwise) whereas with a man it seems to be "he's sick". Think Mary Kay Letourneau and her friends saying "I think she thinks she really loves him", etc. She and the kid are now married. Men who sleep with their female students are for some reason held to a higher standard. What's really crazy is the same sex relationships between students and teachers.
# posted by : 9:37 PM
: 9:37 PM
A good explanation? Probably not. All the explanations are probably good, in the sense that they accurately portray the situation. Does that mean any of them are the way it should be? Not at all.
I think that there's a lot of truth to the idea that men's motives in these kinds of situations are taken for granted. When you hear about a man sleeping with a female student, you assume that the motive for the action was purely sexual. With a woman, explanations are based in a variety of reasons: psychological, sociological, emotional, etc. In a sense, I think that there's general tendency to reduce male sexuality to a simple desire to "stick it in." I think that both men, and society generally, condone and promote this "boys will be boys" attitude when it comes to male sexuality. Normally, this serves as an excuse for the actions that some men take in the course of a relationship. It also serves as a means for women to deconstruct and, at least attempt to, comprehend why men do what they do. Ironically enough, this pathologizing of male sexuality, while it normally exculpates the male's responsibility for his actions, in this case becomes an automatic indictment. In some ways, this same pathologizing is turned around on the gay community in a not altogether dissimilar manner.
I also think you can't underestimate the physical differences, both in terms of size and sexual organs, between men and women. There will always be the idea that a man, due to his physical build and the nature of his genitalia, can resist if he wants to, whereas with women the same isn't assumed to be the case.
Finally, I think that the sexualization of teenage boys is generally considered much more innocuous than the sexualization of teenage girls. Why this is the case I'm not quite sure. Part of me feels that this has something to do with the role of fathers in the sexualization of their children. Fathers are the ones who threaten to kill any guy who dares to sleep with his daughter, yet take their son's sexualization for granted. Hell, given most men's homophobia, most fathers cheer their son's heterosexual sexual experiences. Perhaps, some of this double standard has to do with the fear of teen pregnancy, which wouldn't seem to preclude the idea of preventing teenage boys from being sexualized, but also requires us to believe that men are generally held accountable for a woman's becoming pregnant, which requires a rather large stretch of the imagination.
I'm sure that I could make a more nuanced and thorough argument, but this is a blog, not a classroom.
Just my two cents....mcs
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I also think you can't underestimate the physical differences, both in terms of size and sexual organs, between men and women. There will always be the idea that a man, due to his physical build and the nature of his genitalia, can resist if he wants to, whereas with women the same isn't assumed to be the case.
Finally, I think that the sexualization of teenage boys is generally considered much more innocuous than the sexualization of teenage girls. Why this is the case I'm not quite sure. Part of me feels that this has something to do with the role of fathers in the sexualization of their children. Fathers are the ones who threaten to kill any guy who dares to sleep with his daughter, yet take their son's sexualization for granted. Hell, given most men's homophobia, most fathers cheer their son's heterosexual sexual experiences. Perhaps, some of this double standard has to do with the fear of teen pregnancy, which wouldn't seem to preclude the idea of preventing teenage boys from being sexualized, but also requires us to believe that men are generally held accountable for a woman's becoming pregnant, which requires a rather large stretch of the imagination.
I'm sure that I could make a more nuanced and thorough argument, but this is a blog, not a classroom.
Just my two cents....mcs
