Friday, May 19, 2006
Growth
So I just got off the phone with my dad. It is interesting how our relationship has developed. We spent two years not talking because of "an incident". Before that our relationship was ______, let's just say my dad has/had issues.
Since he has admitted that he has had issues we have started to develop a new relationship. It has its bumps (see two posts prior). There are times were old wounds on my end are too hard to ignore and there are times when his temper comes back and frightens me even when he doesn't mean it to. I've gotten more good advice from my dad in the last couple of years then ever in my life. But growing a new relationship after 24 years of a bad one is very hard.
It's a blessing that I have this blog to vent to, most of the time my friends actually give me advise that calms me down or helps me out. My father doesn't read it, in spite of all his issues he has this big thing about respecting privacy (I used to leave my journal out and he wouldn't read it). I also think my blog would bore him to death. All in all just thinking about things has made me realize how blessed I am. He may have his slip ups but at least he is trying. He may say stupid things occasionally but then, later he checks himself. I was tempted to delete my prior post but I want to leave it there just cause the comments are interesting (and it is nice to know that everyone has wedding planning issues).
As to the wedding--at the end of the day I get to spend my life with someone I am truly in love with and who is truly in love with me. Whether we are legally united or not I am one of the luckiest girls in the world and will always feel that way.
So I just got off the phone with my dad. It is interesting how our relationship has developed. We spent two years not talking because of "an incident". Before that our relationship was ______, let's just say my dad has/had issues.
Since he has admitted that he has had issues we have started to develop a new relationship. It has its bumps (see two posts prior). There are times were old wounds on my end are too hard to ignore and there are times when his temper comes back and frightens me even when he doesn't mean it to. I've gotten more good advice from my dad in the last couple of years then ever in my life. But growing a new relationship after 24 years of a bad one is very hard.
It's a blessing that I have this blog to vent to, most of the time my friends actually give me advise that calms me down or helps me out. My father doesn't read it, in spite of all his issues he has this big thing about respecting privacy (I used to leave my journal out and he wouldn't read it). I also think my blog would bore him to death. All in all just thinking about things has made me realize how blessed I am. He may have his slip ups but at least he is trying. He may say stupid things occasionally but then, later he checks himself. I was tempted to delete my prior post but I want to leave it there just cause the comments are interesting (and it is nice to know that everyone has wedding planning issues).
As to the wedding--at the end of the day I get to spend my life with someone I am truly in love with and who is truly in love with me. Whether we are legally united or not I am one of the luckiest girls in the world and will always feel that way.
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