Thursday, October 12, 2006
Unintentionally Race Post 3
I just wrote a post where I said I wasn't going to post about race. I changed my mind. Today is a two post for one day. The Daily News has done a write up of a piece I saw in GMA about a 16 year-old Harlem girl redoing Dr. Kenneth Clark's "doll" experiment. Click here
When I was growing up my nickname was Negra fea (ugly black girl). It is hard to explain to non-Ricans that being La Negrita or La Negra within a family is not necessarily a bad thing. I didn't realize how harmful the "fea" was until my sister, who is 11 years younger than me, was born. She was dubbed "Blanca Nieve" (snow white).
I pointed out that my sister was not called Blanca fea and that it wasn't fair. A funny thing happened. Family members began COMPLETELY denying they had ever called me "negra fea". My mother didn't deny, but she did stop. I am still La Negra or Negra and if you see me compared to my family you will understand why. Frankly, I like being La Negrita.
My sister looks so much like me. The older she gets the more emphasized it is. Yet, I still perceive her as much prettier. This could be for a ton of reasons, she is younger, I took care of her as a baby (so it could be a parental love), but my mother once flat out said she thinks I think Dianna is prettier because she is whiter. Gee, I wonder why that is.
I've already discussed this with John BUT as parent's of color or, in my case, future parents of color. How do I get my daughter(s) to choose the black doll as often as she chooses the white doll as often as she chooses the tan doll? How do I get her to view them as equals? At this point, I haven't a clue.
I just wrote a post where I said I wasn't going to post about race. I changed my mind. Today is a two post for one day. The Daily News has done a write up of a piece I saw in GMA about a 16 year-old Harlem girl redoing Dr. Kenneth Clark's "doll" experiment. Click here
When I was growing up my nickname was Negra fea (ugly black girl). It is hard to explain to non-Ricans that being La Negrita or La Negra within a family is not necessarily a bad thing. I didn't realize how harmful the "fea" was until my sister, who is 11 years younger than me, was born. She was dubbed "Blanca Nieve" (snow white).
I pointed out that my sister was not called Blanca fea and that it wasn't fair. A funny thing happened. Family members began COMPLETELY denying they had ever called me "negra fea". My mother didn't deny, but she did stop. I am still La Negra or Negra and if you see me compared to my family you will understand why. Frankly, I like being La Negrita.
My sister looks so much like me. The older she gets the more emphasized it is. Yet, I still perceive her as much prettier. This could be for a ton of reasons, she is younger, I took care of her as a baby (so it could be a parental love), but my mother once flat out said she thinks I think Dianna is prettier because she is whiter. Gee, I wonder why that is.
I've already discussed this with John BUT as parent's of color or, in my case, future parents of color. How do I get my daughter(s) to choose the black doll as often as she chooses the white doll as often as she chooses the tan doll? How do I get her to view them as equals? At this point, I haven't a clue.
Comments:
We should talk. In the black community, the color complex is similar with a lot of people feeling that the lighter you are, the better/prettier you are. I have seen that study several times. At first, I tried not describing people as the white, black, whatever girl/boy. I would say the girl who wears glasses or the boy who has brown hair. I notice the less I focus on it, the less she does. I have to integrate the racial stuff a little at a time. We'll talk later. I have a whole issue with my family for not doing this right and me having a meltdown later about my features. smile
I remember getting a black Barbie as a child and being hysterical about it. (Thinking about it now, she was quite beautiful.) I think that tantrum was the first time I ever heard anyone in my family refer to a minority as attractive.
Not to downplay any social dynamics that may occur within various races, but to a certain extent you have to remember that there were very few examples of minorities in popular culture when we were young. There were no Tyra Bankses or Salma Hayeks constantly in our faces, showing us how people of different races and ethnicities were beautiful. Nobody was calling Claire Huxtable gorgeous. (Unjust for a variety of reasons.)
Not that I'm saying that the media is responsible for children knowing that skin color doesn't determine one's beauty, but it does give parents more readily available examples of different types of beauty. And children primarily base their perception of beauty on what their families say.
So, I don't think it is a matter of making your child choose evenly so much as pointing out the beauty in someone whenever you see it, regardless of skin tone.
So sayth the lily-white girl with no children...
Jenn :-)
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Not to downplay any social dynamics that may occur within various races, but to a certain extent you have to remember that there were very few examples of minorities in popular culture when we were young. There were no Tyra Bankses or Salma Hayeks constantly in our faces, showing us how people of different races and ethnicities were beautiful. Nobody was calling Claire Huxtable gorgeous. (Unjust for a variety of reasons.)
Not that I'm saying that the media is responsible for children knowing that skin color doesn't determine one's beauty, but it does give parents more readily available examples of different types of beauty. And children primarily base their perception of beauty on what their families say.
So, I don't think it is a matter of making your child choose evenly so much as pointing out the beauty in someone whenever you see it, regardless of skin tone.
So sayth the lily-white girl with no children...
Jenn :-)
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