Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Change
I'm cutting my hair today. I haven't gotten a short hair cut since 2001. I just want it to graze my shoulders which, for me, is short. I think my hair looks better long but every four years or so I cut it short. I've only lasted this long because each time I wanted to cut my hair I got a new tattoo. I have decided to accept this cycle. I am going to cut out all the dyed parts of my hair. I will grow it out for four years and then cut it, donating the hair to locks of love. Maybe who knows, I could cut my hair this afternoon and then start crying for the big mistake I have made. Shit, I could chicken out before 3:00. But, the intentions are there.
I have an interview tomorrow for a job that I don't know if I want. I like my current situation but it may be time to expand in order to hit my long term goals. I fear leaving my situation and then being filled with regret. I think that is what a lot of people fear.
I need to break myself of the habit of buying/making people presents/cards and not sending them. I currently have three gifts and one card that I have been sitting on. I made a gift for one of my friend's daughters (hi Noyam) over a year ago that I haven't sent.
I've been writing. This is a big change from normal. Since I have been writing I have smoked twice. I'm ashamed of myself and scared that in order to write I have to smoke. As if the nicotine unlocks a door in my brain. Blech.
I'm cutting my hair today. I haven't gotten a short hair cut since 2001. I just want it to graze my shoulders which, for me, is short. I think my hair looks better long but every four years or so I cut it short. I've only lasted this long because each time I wanted to cut my hair I got a new tattoo. I have decided to accept this cycle. I am going to cut out all the dyed parts of my hair. I will grow it out for four years and then cut it, donating the hair to locks of love. Maybe who knows, I could cut my hair this afternoon and then start crying for the big mistake I have made. Shit, I could chicken out before 3:00. But, the intentions are there.
I have an interview tomorrow for a job that I don't know if I want. I like my current situation but it may be time to expand in order to hit my long term goals. I fear leaving my situation and then being filled with regret. I think that is what a lot of people fear.
I need to break myself of the habit of buying/making people presents/cards and not sending them. I currently have three gifts and one card that I have been sitting on. I made a gift for one of my friend's daughters (hi Noyam) over a year ago that I haven't sent.
I've been writing. This is a big change from normal. Since I have been writing I have smoked twice. I'm ashamed of myself and scared that in order to write I have to smoke. As if the nicotine unlocks a door in my brain. Blech.
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