Monday, March 26, 2007
On dogs and grandchildren.
This past week I have become fixated on getting a dog. I've been wanting a dog for while and I have researched what breed I want thoroughly. Yes, I am willing to get a mutt but since my husband is not a dog lover I want to make sure I know what I am getting. I saw a flyer for Shiba Inus and my heart jumped out of me. It was a few months ahead of schedule but I called anyway. The woman had a male (which is what I want), she wanted a fair price for the dog (which I couldn't afford) and the dogs were ready to get out of her house that day (waaaay ahead of schedule, I am working 1.5 jobs till the end of April). So I walked away from the dog (much to John's delight) and I decided that all I want for my 28th birthday in November is a dog. If you are my friend and want to send me a birthday present in November send me dog food.
Annoyingly, when I spoke to both my mother and father-in-law about wanting a dog they said pretty much the same thing. My father-in-law, "but you have two cats". In my family this argument is absurd. I grew up with dogs, cats, birds, fish, and I had a ferret for many years. The only thing we couldn't have is rodents and reptiles. So, to this day, I want a snake. Father-in-law and mom both made the second point. Have a baby! Murmers have been mumbled for a while but somewhere around St. Patrick's day my father-in-law's biological clock started ticking and it started ticking in MY UTERUS!
You, my dear reader, may get grand child flack but I got grandchild flack in the middle of a St. Patrick's Day breakfast in front of about 300 people. You are going to give me grandchildren, aren't you?! He exclaimed.
I don't know how grandchildren and dogs are interchangeable. Are they suggesting that I leave their grandchild alone for hours on end? Maybe that I feed them from two bowls on the floor and take them for two walks a day?
What's particularly funny about my ire is John and I have been discussing having children (and Mom, and by Mom I mean Jane this time, if you are reading this you can wear that smile all day but don't talk to me or John about this because while we are discussing it with each other we are not ready to discuss it with our parents...love you...really I do, you are the best at not mentioning it) There is just something about being badgered that makes the teenage girl in me want to be rebellious. How old do you have to be for that to stop? They tell me to give them a grandbaby and I want to wait several more years past when I want to have children. And, frankly, for me, it's not even about having the kids. We have a good support structure here and I think we are ready in some very important ways. BUT in other ways we are seriously not.
We still need to enjoy each other more. I'm not ready to share my husband's attention nor do I think he is ready to share mine. We both have projects we want to complete, projects we sometimes ignore each other for. Plus, there are still two very important things I have not done, gotten a driver's license and left the country. Until I do both of those things I am not ready to get pregnant.
And, to be frank again, the idea of being pregnant is extremely displeasing to me right now. It has nothing to do with anyone's pregnancy stories. I was very conscious of my mom's pregnancies (they occurred when I was ten and thirteen). My mom had very good pregnancies. My sister was three weeks late but there were no real complications and my brother was born in fifteen minutes (my mom's fourth birth).
BUT, I'm not ready to give up drinking for ten months, I'm not ready to give up all the coffee I drink. I've already given up smoking, I gave it up two years ago partly for my long term health and partly for my fertility. I gave it up two years ago and it STILL SUCKS! I want a ciggarette. I've already given up raw oysters, yes I cheat but I am not eatting them by the bucketful. And you know what, giving up the raw oysters sucks. However, should I put a child in this body I don't want it mercury laden (p.s. this is also why I have been trying to eat less grouper).
And last, I already have a baby. You don't have to understand my sibling dynamic. They are 11 and 14 years younger than me respectively (yes there is one 4 years older than me too but he doesn't factor into this issue). Because of our family situation there was a period of years were I was "like their mom" and they are still my babies. They may not have come from me, but they are mine in a very real sense. Come June 2008 my sister graduates from high school and I am not missing that due to pregnancy. I don't even want to be showing because once the poor girl hinted that she felt my accomplishments steal her thunder.
Until then, I am putting too much Bailey's in my too much coffee, going on a cruise, and having sex with my husband all over our house without fear of being caught.
SO there you have it, dogs, grandchildren and parentheticals.
This past week I have become fixated on getting a dog. I've been wanting a dog for while and I have researched what breed I want thoroughly. Yes, I am willing to get a mutt but since my husband is not a dog lover I want to make sure I know what I am getting. I saw a flyer for Shiba Inus and my heart jumped out of me. It was a few months ahead of schedule but I called anyway. The woman had a male (which is what I want), she wanted a fair price for the dog (which I couldn't afford) and the dogs were ready to get out of her house that day (waaaay ahead of schedule, I am working 1.5 jobs till the end of April). So I walked away from the dog (much to John's delight) and I decided that all I want for my 28th birthday in November is a dog. If you are my friend and want to send me a birthday present in November send me dog food.
Annoyingly, when I spoke to both my mother and father-in-law about wanting a dog they said pretty much the same thing. My father-in-law, "but you have two cats". In my family this argument is absurd. I grew up with dogs, cats, birds, fish, and I had a ferret for many years. The only thing we couldn't have is rodents and reptiles. So, to this day, I want a snake. Father-in-law and mom both made the second point. Have a baby! Murmers have been mumbled for a while but somewhere around St. Patrick's day my father-in-law's biological clock started ticking and it started ticking in MY UTERUS!
You, my dear reader, may get grand child flack but I got grandchild flack in the middle of a St. Patrick's Day breakfast in front of about 300 people. You are going to give me grandchildren, aren't you?! He exclaimed.
I don't know how grandchildren and dogs are interchangeable. Are they suggesting that I leave their grandchild alone for hours on end? Maybe that I feed them from two bowls on the floor and take them for two walks a day?
What's particularly funny about my ire is John and I have been discussing having children (and Mom, and by Mom I mean Jane this time, if you are reading this you can wear that smile all day but don't talk to me or John about this because while we are discussing it with each other we are not ready to discuss it with our parents...love you...really I do, you are the best at not mentioning it) There is just something about being badgered that makes the teenage girl in me want to be rebellious. How old do you have to be for that to stop? They tell me to give them a grandbaby and I want to wait several more years past when I want to have children. And, frankly, for me, it's not even about having the kids. We have a good support structure here and I think we are ready in some very important ways. BUT in other ways we are seriously not.
We still need to enjoy each other more. I'm not ready to share my husband's attention nor do I think he is ready to share mine. We both have projects we want to complete, projects we sometimes ignore each other for. Plus, there are still two very important things I have not done, gotten a driver's license and left the country. Until I do both of those things I am not ready to get pregnant.
And, to be frank again, the idea of being pregnant is extremely displeasing to me right now. It has nothing to do with anyone's pregnancy stories. I was very conscious of my mom's pregnancies (they occurred when I was ten and thirteen). My mom had very good pregnancies. My sister was three weeks late but there were no real complications and my brother was born in fifteen minutes (my mom's fourth birth).
BUT, I'm not ready to give up drinking for ten months, I'm not ready to give up all the coffee I drink. I've already given up smoking, I gave it up two years ago partly for my long term health and partly for my fertility. I gave it up two years ago and it STILL SUCKS! I want a ciggarette. I've already given up raw oysters, yes I cheat but I am not eatting them by the bucketful. And you know what, giving up the raw oysters sucks. However, should I put a child in this body I don't want it mercury laden (p.s. this is also why I have been trying to eat less grouper).
And last, I already have a baby. You don't have to understand my sibling dynamic. They are 11 and 14 years younger than me respectively (yes there is one 4 years older than me too but he doesn't factor into this issue). Because of our family situation there was a period of years were I was "like their mom" and they are still my babies. They may not have come from me, but they are mine in a very real sense. Come June 2008 my sister graduates from high school and I am not missing that due to pregnancy. I don't even want to be showing because once the poor girl hinted that she felt my accomplishments steal her thunder.
Until then, I am putting too much Bailey's in my too much coffee, going on a cruise, and having sex with my husband all over our house without fear of being caught.
SO there you have it, dogs, grandchildren and parentheticals.
Comments:
Funny, my parents treat my dog like their grandchild. (My mother goes around showing people pictures of her "granddogger" Holly.)
They don't want me having children yet, whereas my inlaws have predetermined the number of children I will have, their genders (and in what order they shall appear), and names.
So, I partially feel your pain. :-)
Jenn
Post a Comment
They don't want me having children yet, whereas my inlaws have predetermined the number of children I will have, their genders (and in what order they shall appear), and names.
So, I partially feel your pain. :-)
Jenn
# posted by 
: 4:56 PM
: 4:56 PM