NINA FARINA

The Goeeyist (and most boring) Post I Will Write in a While

Yesterday was ordinary. The night before I had gone out with a girlfriend for a little bit just so that I could wake up early.

I got up early so that I could grade finals, lots of finals. I made us brunch. I graded more finals and then we went to Office Depot. We have to buy a new printer and invitations so that I can make invites for an event I am having for a friend's campaign. Then we stopped by a former students house for his graduation BBQ (are you bored yet). We got home, and umm yeah (get the hint), then took a nap. I graded more finals. We played scrabble and watched Idiocracy and had dinner. We decided to try to find something to do (at this point it was around ten).

John called a few friends to see if anything as going on. One of the friends had been over for our dinner party last week and he told John that we changed his mind about marriage. Before, seeing his other friends, he didn't want to be married. He said that John and I "do it" right. I was very flattered.

Since nothing was gong on something to do turned into going to the Dairy Queen for Ice Cream and the video store for movies. We laid on the living room floor to watch Rear Window and I fell asleep before the end.

Yup, yesterday was very ordinary. Yesterday was perfect. :-)

On dogs and grandchildren.

This past week I have become fixated on getting a dog. I've been wanting a dog for while and I have researched what breed I want thoroughly. Yes, I am willing to get a mutt but since my husband is not a dog lover I want to make sure I know what I am getting. I saw a flyer for Shiba Inus and my heart jumped out of me. It was a few months ahead of schedule but I called anyway. The woman had a male (which is what I want), she wanted a fair price for the dog (which I couldn't afford) and the dogs were ready to get out of her house that day (waaaay ahead of schedule, I am working 1.5 jobs till the end of April). So I walked away from the dog (much to John's delight) and I decided that all I want for my 28th birthday in November is a dog. If you are my friend and want to send me a birthday present in November send me dog food.

Annoyingly, when I spoke to both my mother and father-in-law about wanting a dog they said pretty much the same thing. My father-in-law, "but you have two cats". In my family this argument is absurd. I grew up with dogs, cats, birds, fish, and I had a ferret for many years. The only thing we couldn't have is rodents and reptiles. So, to this day, I want a snake. Father-in-law and mom both made the second point. Have a baby! Murmers have been mumbled for a while but somewhere around St. Patrick's day my father-in-law's biological clock started ticking and it started ticking in MY UTERUS!

You, my dear reader, may get grand child flack but I got grandchild flack in the middle of a St. Patrick's Day breakfast in front of about 300 people. You are going to give me grandchildren, aren't you?! He exclaimed.

I don't know how grandchildren and dogs are interchangeable. Are they suggesting that I leave their grandchild alone for hours on end? Maybe that I feed them from two bowls on the floor and take them for two walks a day?

What's particularly funny about my ire is John and I have been discussing having children (and Mom, and by Mom I mean Jane this time, if you are reading this you can wear that smile all day but don't talk to me or John about this because while we are discussing it with each other we are not ready to discuss it with our parents...love you...really I do, you are the best at not mentioning it) There is just something about being badgered that makes the teenage girl in me want to be rebellious. How old do you have to be for that to stop? They tell me to give them a grandbaby and I want to wait several more years past when I want to have children. And, frankly, for me, it's not even about having the kids. We have a good support structure here and I think we are ready in some very important ways. BUT in other ways we are seriously not.

We still need to enjoy each other more. I'm not ready to share my husband's attention nor do I think he is ready to share mine. We both have projects we want to complete, projects we sometimes ignore each other for. Plus, there are still two very important things I have not done, gotten a driver's license and left the country. Until I do both of those things I am not ready to get pregnant.

And, to be frank again, the idea of being pregnant is extremely displeasing to me right now. It has nothing to do with anyone's pregnancy stories. I was very conscious of my mom's pregnancies (they occurred when I was ten and thirteen). My mom had very good pregnancies. My sister was three weeks late but there were no real complications and my brother was born in fifteen minutes (my mom's fourth birth).

BUT, I'm not ready to give up drinking for ten months, I'm not ready to give up all the coffee I drink. I've already given up smoking, I gave it up two years ago partly for my long term health and partly for my fertility. I gave it up two years ago and it STILL SUCKS! I want a ciggarette. I've already given up raw oysters, yes I cheat but I am not eatting them by the bucketful. And you know what, giving up the raw oysters sucks. However, should I put a child in this body I don't want it mercury laden (p.s. this is also why I have been trying to eat less grouper).

And last, I already have a baby. You don't have to understand my sibling dynamic. They are 11 and 14 years younger than me respectively (yes there is one 4 years older than me too but he doesn't factor into this issue). Because of our family situation there was a period of years were I was "like their mom" and they are still my babies. They may not have come from me, but they are mine in a very real sense. Come June 2008 my sister graduates from high school and I am not missing that due to pregnancy. I don't even want to be showing because once the poor girl hinted that she felt my accomplishments steal her thunder.

Until then, I am putting too much Bailey's in my too much coffee, going on a cruise, and having sex with my husband all over our house without fear of being caught.

SO there you have it, dogs, grandchildren and parentheticals.

Beware the Ides of March

My past few days have been strange. On the plus side I've made some resolutions. Wish me luck achieving them.

Eventually I will write.
This is just a link to an article that is a follow up of an earlier post.

See we're not the only ones

As a teacher, as a poet, and as a citizen that wants a more connected world, i beg you to watch this.


Save the Internet | Rock the Vote

My new life (and why I don't share a bed with my husband)

I never understood why people pretend the week begins on Sunday. Anyone that exist in a mildly grown up world knows the week begins Monday. For the past few weeks I've been trying to find a schedule that balances out my new life and gets everything done and here it is.

Most days I wake up at 6 and go to bed at 10:30. I try to get an ab/arm workout in every other morning and as often as possible I walk to or from work or both (1.5 miles each way).

I work at the courthouse Monday through Friday and I can't give details about what I do. In a nutshell, I help bring about the timely resolution of pro-se prisoner civil litigation.

Monday nights I prepare for class and/or meet with students. I get to cook dinner (which sadly has become a rarity) and I have to bring it upstairs to John since he teaches an online course Monday nights. Tuesday we go to Grandmas and I continue to prepare for class. What shocks me is that this is my third time teaching the topic, class last two hours, and it still takes 3 hours of preparation.

I have decided that when the semester ends I am taking on one or two research assistance. I need to revamp the course (per students request some of the Holocaust material is getting nixed and replaced with Yugoslavia material). Also, I really want to finish an article I began two years ago. I have a co-author (I hope Bukola hasn't given up on me) and I really need to send him two short papers I worked on.

That was a segway. Wednesday I teach. Thursday night has become date night and Friday night we are back at Grandmas. She has been in good spirits lately and we tend to go out to this Chinese Buffet. I think I've grown attached to John's grandma because at our roots we have a lot in common.

The past few weekends I've been wrapped up in a great book on the Nuremberg trials, I took a trip to see my central Florida family and I've been meaning to organize my tax documents. As my six month anniversary is approaching I HAVE TO finish writing my thank you notes. I think I am going to give out wallet size photos since I've been taking so long.

The only way I have managed all this is by hiring a cleaning lady (they are awesome and I'ld rather be teaching than cleaning) and by giving up on trying to sleep with a husband that has a severe snoring problem. Contextually, my father-in-law has had surgery for snoring and you can still hear him on the otherside of the house. Sometimes when I go to the bed in my office, I have to close either the bedroom door, the office door or both. I think we are better off with me getting a deep sleep without having to wake up every hour to poke him and him getting a deep sleep without being poked every hour. I start out in our bed, and Saturday mornings are spent cuddling in our bed, but I get my best sleep in my bed.

Recently, one of my dear friends was condemned for liking having a bed to herself though she is in a happy partnership. People who feel the need to question the dynamics of other's relationships need to shut up.

Life is about our fulfillment and experiences as individuals. We each live our own stories and sometimes our chapters have to be very different than other people's chapters. I am very happy with where my story is now. A mentor reminded me to stop and smell the roses. Right now, my life is filled with them.

Been a long time
and will continue to be a bit longer.

It's cheap to post that you plan on posting soon but I do. I could post now but I don't want my first post in two weeks to be whiney.

So for the friends that use this to "keep track" of me -- I'm alive and doing well. I'm happy and peaceful. And that is all.

I could give you a massive list of what I have been doing

But, u don't care -- so here is a short hodge podge of what I've been up to and if you want me to elaborate ask...

The new job is hard to describe and I'm not allowed to talk about what I do anyway. However, I do like my new co workers.

Southbeach is the most overrated overpriced place I have ever been and I am sure it is one of the most overrated overpriced places in the world. For what you spend on food/housing you could just go to a Caribbean island and not have to deal with a bunch of pushy rude people. On its plus side, I like the art galleries. The weekend was saved by spending time with John's nana and finding new art.

I have half of one room of our apartment completely decorated. We have been in this apartment 14 months. In my defense the half of the room I have decorated is the size of most regular rooms. I'm picky about what I look at -- I used to work in an art gallery and that made my pickiness worse.

I put some new art on my body yesterday. I'm very happy with it. Thank God! How much would it stink to get a tattoo you were luke warm about.

Children of Men was an INCREDIBLE movie. I short change it by writing about it this far down. Funny is that at the end I turned to John and said, that couldn't have been made by an American. The director came up and it wasn't made by an America. Strange is that the day before we saw the movie I jokingly suggested to John that we place a print of Guernica above our dining room table. Damn the movie was brilliant.

Teachers/Artists

Maybe this is only a Southern phenom, but is anyone else catching wind of teachers being fired for their art?

Two examples that quickly come to mind, but I have heard more.

A woman who was a porn actor ten years ago, under a different name, when she looked completely different is fired from her school when "someone" links her old stage name to her new identity. This comes with the added bonus of me stating that I do think pornography is art (sometimes art that is done very badly), that the person who "leaked" the video to the school is a consumer of pornography AND that anyone who consumes pornography who thinks they are better than the pornographers is an idiot. I can understand certain parents not wanting a current Porn Star (and I mean Jenna Jameson level) not teaching their children who know who s/he is. However, someone who was a porn actor ten years ago teaching children who are too young to be exposed to pornography, I just don't give sympathy to. If you need your kids to have highly selected teachers send them to private school. Public schools are too desperate to be this picky.

BUT WAIT, it gets worse.
A public school art teacher, who did not teach his art to his student nor mention his art his students was recently fired when it was discovered (drum roll) that he painted with his body parts....all of them. The pictures (which I am searching for samples of) didn't even look like they were painted with his body. It just seems so stupid and really irks me.

So, as a public university teacher, how do I know that I haven't done something that could get me fired for being a bad example to my students? Answer, I don't. Outside of the nudity rubric (though I feel all artist should be able to use nudity if it furthers their art) it is impossible to come up with a standard of behaviour, and further the standard shouldn't be developed. If the behaviour is legal a public school teacher should be allowed to teach and engage in that behaviour. We can clause this by saying that the behaviour, if controversial, should be kept out of the workplace (by both the teacher and busybodies who like to introduce information no student would have found out about had the busybody not made it public).

There are just not enough people who have the gift of being able to teach well who are willing to do it for the pay public school teachers get.

to all the teachers, i apologize for the grammar in this post. i wrote it fast.

Holiday Wrap Up

I have a feeling 2007 is going to be a big year--before I get there let me tell you where I've been.

John and I decided not to spend Christmas together. We have never spent a Christmas together. I don't want to take him from his grandmas and I want to spend it with my siblings. We decided that once third parties are introduced folks can come to our house, till then we will each be in our parent's house. The way some people reacted you would have thought we had announced we were taking a trial separation. One person actually quoted the Bible to me half jokingly but I could tell half was serious. I left Christmas eve and go to spend time with my moms (including meeting her new boyfriend), my siblings, my father's family and my poetry family. It was a very short and sweet visit. When I got back John wrote me the sweetest Christmas card about how our ability not to run with the crowd is what makes us such a strong couple.

I had a nice week off and am finishing things up at my law office. Each year has a quote and last years was,

Ecclesiastes 9

7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. 8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your [spouse], whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

This years is,

Philipians 3

13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me...

I start a new job on the 8th that I am excited about. It will give me the tools, and connections, to reach my long term goals as an attorney. Less vacation and more work hours than I am used to but everything is a means to an end. In order to cope, John and I will be taking trips whenever we can.

Nina, you just got a new job and can finally get rid of your credit card debt what are you gonna do? I'M GOING TO SOUTH BEACH BABY! If you'll be there MLK weekend give John or me a holla.