Thursday, June 30, 2005
Maybe it is my personal affinity for MIT (having friends and family who went there and having worked there myself) but I really think you should do this survey if you have a blog.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
So sitting around talking to granddad (for future reference that is John's grandfather and abuelo is my grandfather) anyway, we are talking, telling each other things that I doubt he tells to many people and I am responding with stuff that I actually do tell to people because it is nothing I am ashamed of, just shit that has happened. Granddad tells me that I could've been a great therapist.
Which is funny because a good chunk of my life I thought I was going to double major in psychology and political science. But then I didn't. Political Science was more of a love and I didn't have time to double major, work and take all the other classes I wanted.
The bigger reason is now the reason I think I would be a good therapist. I hate it when people whine for no reason. I hate it when they let themselves get miserable over things they have control over and I think most of the time when people are upset it is stuff that if they were proactive about could be changed. And I realize that, seeing as I can be sensitive to people's emotions, that annoyance could have transfered very well.
A lot of times I think people need to stop looking at what people do to them and start looking at what people LET other people do to them. I don't know if folks are selective enough with who they let into their lives.
I'm also rather holistic with my approach to health. I think a lot of our emotions, attentions spans and health can be attributed to how often people get outside. It is lame but as a culture I think we have just stopped getting enough sunlight. And how you eat REALLY affects your mood. I think we have going around with the assumption that people who are depressed eat high fat foods because of the depression but I think all that high fat food may cause emotional disorders by not letting your body function properly. It's also be proving that adding more green foods to your diet increases your positive emotions (it is like getting the sun light through an intermediary).
And I am not saying people should never be medicated but I don't know how drugs became an option of first resort. I think if we look at the bigger picture there are natural ways to cure lots of people's dysfunctions. And I know it is hard to admit but sometimes people are dysfunctional because they should be, there situation is just that jacked up. I think prescribing something may prolong it by making them feel good in a situation where they are SUPPOSED to feel bad.
I also think there is merit to letting teenagers suffer through a bit of depression (notice the adjective "a bit"). That way later in life you can look back and say "I got through that, I can get through this." I mean what happens if years from now we have a generation of kids that CAN'T say, "I got through that" on their own. You're gonna have a group of adults on very strong meds.
Lately I have been wondering how I can become a life couch for professionals. Go into their lives, helps them clear up some clutter, get them organized in their task, make them get some exercise and then put them on a diet (not to lose weight but to eat better). A completely holsitic approach. What qualifies me to do this?, a bit of a ton of things but mostly that I made it through Law School while working 1.5 jobs and with a blood disorder. I mean basically I will be showing them what works for me and people I know. I think lots of folks can't see the forest through the trees and since they can't see it they assume the forest is a LOT bigger than it really is. Translation: There problems are small and have easy solutions but they don't realize it because they are in the middle of their problems. Sometimes just having a different person look at your situation gives an insight you can't have and I don't know if you need to spend years in school to do that (and I am not talking about being a therapist for their bigger problems just a couch for the right now I am sure I would need a list of folks to refer them to if they have bigger issues).
P.S. This is not me deciding I don't want to be a lawyer cause I hate studying for the bar. I do want to be a lawyer, I do hate studying for the bar BUT I have always juggled a billion things and I figure why stop now. Who knows 20 years from now this life couch thing may be a very real part of my life. The only thing I haven't figured out is how I would get clients
Sunday, June 26, 2005
I think both the poor and the rich do themselves an extreme disservice by believing that in order to become rich you have to be unhappy or to put it in a different way, that any job that will get you rich will suck.
I refuse to believe this because I have known several people who have become rich (and one who is STUPID rich) doing something that the love. I even know people who have become rich doing things that they love that also help people (the one who is stupid rich in particular).
Now I know that the jobs that make you rich and happy are hard to find. Frankly, most of those people have made the jobs themselves and people thought they were crazy for a bit. Personally I rather people think I am crazy and be happy, than have people think I am sane and be miserable. You only have to answer to yourself.
I guess I am saying, puting happy first and money second doesn't mean you aren't gonna get rich, I think the key is being creative and brave enough to believe in yourself.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
John -- So.... Do you want me to go get the cloves ?
Me -- No....Just don't judge my arroz con dulce on this batch?
John-- What is the arroz con dulce....rice.....with the sweet..... stuff?
Friday, June 17, 2005
The downside of living with someone is this, I can't just hang out naked.
Yes, I know, I can be naked in front of John but beting naked in front of someone is soooo different than being naked by yourself, even if that person has seen you naked hundreds of times. I mean I don't just want to be naked in front of him because it will either lead to something when I just want to enjoy being or it won't lead to something which will make me wonder why it didn't or worse, he will "get used" to me being naked and eventually the thrill of it will wear off.
I like just being naked after a shower for a few hours. If I am going out in the evening I HAVE to be naked for a while or else I can't feel sexy. It doesn't happen instantaneously it builds up over several hours.
So many women don't feel comfortable in their skin and I think it is because they don't spend time naked by themselves, the moment they get out of the shower they throw clothes on or worse they already have their clothes picked out before they get in the shower.
If you can't feel comfortable naked by yourself how are you supposed to feel comfortable naked in front of someone.
As for me, right now I am enjoying my post shower naked in solitude because John is napping. When he gets up I'll grab a robe.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
So on March 31, 2004 I wrote a post titled "Shade Darker than Amber Alert" apparently the media is a bit slower and has realized it fails to cover it. Then they wrote an article about it. So here it is for your pleasure.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Maybe everyone has done, or if you haven't you are lucky. But eventually someone has either dated someone crazy or has made a crazy friend. Here are a few tips on detecting crazy. The obvious--they are on anti psychotics or they call you either drunk/high frequently. When they call you they are either bemoaning their life, or in the case of the ex they are bemoaning why you aren't in their life OR how you were the last in their life that really cared or fit them. (Here is a tip you may want to evaluate your own crazy, if that is true, or you may want to just re evaluate what you were doing then change it and walk away from your crazy associates.)
And yes I said walk away. It is cruel, it is terrible but BACK AWAY FROM THE CRAZY. Because you cannot control crazy. Eventually crazy will do something really fucking crazy. Here are examples (redacted to protect the crazy). Once friend A realized friend X was crazy he cut off his friendship with friend X. A few nights later another friend looked out friend A's window and saw X just staring up into his window. Another example when the crazy female friend (why is it always a female) begins calling your home and or current girlfriend (and maybe even you at odd hours) because she just wants to know how you are doing (or at this point see above listed conversations cause I am not typing them out again). (Tip two-- girls are just like guys they don't want to just see how you are doing).
Anyway, unless you are a licensed therapist or social worker and the person is paying you (or you are getting paid) because you CANNOT control crazy. Crazy by its definition is uncontrollable. Eventually crazy will do something you don't expect and that is just drama you don't need. I mean maybe MAYBE if crazy has been your friend for yeeeeeaaaaaaars it is slightly worth it (if at one point they weren't crazy) but unless it has been years....shake crazy off, lay shit down because do you really want to be there (or do you want the ones you care about to be there) when crazy explodes?
On a smaller note -- if you are giving your energy to crazy people in your life, people who deserve your energy won't get it properly. Example, if you spend time on the phone with crazy ex boyfriend (who is now just one of your good friends) and then your man comes home or your roommate needs to get something off their chest and you don't have the energy to just listen to them. That's not right. Give your energy to those who deserve it.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
For those who know me I am a tad on the spiritual side and I shake it all up when it comes to my beliefs. I have several "favorite" books of the Bible and it has been a while since I threw something up on here (and yes my favorite quotes get repetitive cause I know I have posted part of this before). So here is most of chapter four of Ecclesiastics which I have been studying most of the semester. I have just been reading it over and over again and now you can read some...
Oppression, Toil, Friendlessness1 Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:
I saw the tears of the oppressed—
and they have no comforter;
power was on the side of their oppressors—
and they have no comforter.
2 And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.
3 But better than both
is he who has not yet been,
who has not seen the evil
that is done under the sun.
4 And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
5 The fool folds his hands
and ruins himself.
6 Better one handful with tranquillity
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.
7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:
8 There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
1. The show "The Scholar" upsets me. It is a shame to begin with that ANY deserving high school student in this country has to struggle to get through college. To make a show, to turn their problem into our entertainment is rather repugnant to me. It trivializes the issue. John thinks at the end of the show they will all get scholarships. I don't know, if they did that there could only be one season of the show. Either way it is just sad that students have to complete to get what they already deserve.
2. Finding out about Victor Delgado's death pissed me off. There really is no way to describe it. I just wasn't expecting that, not that expectation makes those things easier BUT.....I just think God is getting greedy with the good people of late. So realizing that Victor enjoyed life and art up till the end. I got myself dressed went to a birthday party and had some fun and laughs. I told two friends and made them toast him with me. Then we went home and I got dressed in super Latin mode. White skirt, heels, it was all a bit much for the Tuesday open mic but I didn't care. I took the days events at a get out of jail free pass for the rest of my reading so today I have to catch up. It was worth it.
3. There is a Puerto Rican restaurant in Tallahassee called Don Julio's. It is three blocks away from my Bar/Bri class. I go there once a week and I think they have realized that I am forcing them to adopt me. It's really small and not fancy at all, but I sit watch TV drink Malta and chat in Spanish. It makes me happy.
4. As our culture's mesh John has discovered the reason why folks like coffee. A lifetime of American coffee didn't do his palate too well I guess. Been making Bustelo and homeboy has been drinking it without foam/syrup/tons of sugar. And I for one, am developing a sweet tea addiction.
5. After 3.5 hours of Bar/Bri yesterday my brain became so numb that I started giggling to myself whenever the teacher said "penal interest" I swear, it was like I was twelve. Gotta get ready to go back to bar/bri and I am kinda dragging this morning. Sigh .... it's only Wednesday :-/
Monday, June 06, 2005
I heard an NPR broadcast on a couple that Podcast edited versions of their life at home.
I know John and I are fucking hilarious and sometimes think we should do it.
Tonight's dinner conversation, started by John and inspired by our trip to the Oriental market.
"Once you start eatting an Asian person do they then become Oriental?"
Friday, June 03, 2005
My close friends know this but the other world doesn't. I don't wear shorts. Yes, I will shortish skirts, tight pants, sexy outfits, but come summer I cover myself in my beloved sarongs. But that was New York, this is Florida and hot ass days are frequent.
The last time I wore shorts in New York, and wasn't in my Mother's Yard, was the Spic Nic. And Fish made the comment, "Nina, you got thick thighs" "I know Fish" "Nina, you got nice legs." And that is why I cover my thighs cause I get too much attention and while it is nice at a club or on a beach while trying to get through a day it is too much, it is annoying and mostly it makes me uncomfortable. And it is not so much keeping my legs covered but my thighs.
But yesterday I broke down and wore shorts. I want to make the two mile walk too and from my Bar/Bri class my daily work out. Yeah, unless I am at a BBQ that involves sports I don't think I will be wearing shorts often. I gotta get a pair of sneakers that looks good with skirts and maybe the key is lots of jean skirts.
I'm strange, I know.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
1. Budget Permitting--I will be teaching a class on Genocide and Adjudicating Genocide (just one class haven't thought of what to call it) at FSU in the Spring. The Chair wanted me to start teaching in the fall but there is no way I can prepare adequately for a class AND pass the bar exam. There is no test book for the things I want to teach so I have to come up with all the readings, write a syllabus, etc. So cross your fingers that the funding stays there.
2. Yes it is hot here. I am still not wearing shorts in public. I refuse......but for how long I can keep it up I don't know :-/
3. We are making the condo into a two person home. It is starting to look cute but there are SO many clothes to put away. I don't know if it will ever get done.
All in all things are well.